Something came into my mind just an hour or so ago.

A few months back, during Chinese New Year, I went to El Nido for VWAP. Vacation with a purpose. Every day, Andy Braner lead the high school group and discussed varies topics in depth. Towards the last few days, we talked about letting go. More specifically letting go of a grudge, or a bad relationship with someone.

Letting go of the past and giving it all to God.

We did a little activity. We each found a rock that portrayed the relationship, or portrayed how we felt. We took our rocks, strolled to the side of the ocean while quietly meditating on the thing we needed to let go of. Once we got there, I prayed asking God to offer us a new heart, a new perspective, a new attitude. Prayed that I could just give it all up to Him, and not have to think about it or worry about it again.

At that point, I really wanted to be able to let go but I had doubts. I doubted myself and I doubted God. I didn’t really trust that I could let go of it all just like that. After we prayed, we threw our rocks into the ocean, as far as we could. Who knows where the Rock is now?

As much as I doubted myself and God, I JUST realized that it all came true. As I think back to before El Nido, I struggled every day with the same problem, the same thoughts and frustrations went through my mind but the moment I came back from El Nido- I knew I was able to confront the problem, and I did.

I confronted the problem, and it was over. Finally over.
And to my surprise, I didn’t have any second thoughts.

I felt a sense of peace within myself. God gave me the strength that I needed. He took on my problems so I could be a different person, I could live life differently. For some reason, I didn’t realize how much He worked until now.

I guess that’s what happens with most of us. God works in our life, but most of the time, we don’t notice what He’s done until later. We notice that the experiences He puts us through, the struggles that we go through are all for the better. and you know what… I love Him for that.

On a side note, I pray that you have a little more faith. You have doubts all over, you make conclusions about people based on the life they were born into. It’s damn frustrating! But whatever you say, nothing is going to change. I’m reaching out and I’m not afraid to. I am not going to stay on the sideline just to protect myself.

Impressive. I don’t think this song is an attempt to “shove Christianity down people’s throats” as many YouTube comments state. This is merely a praise song honoring God and all that He has done for us. Makes me quite irritated reading all the “attack” comments.

18 Dead. 44 Injured.

Mostly Elders.  Heading to a church event.

That just blows my mind. One of the biggest traffic accident in the last five years occurred this morning in Sai Kung. A bus holding 62 passengers overturned after driving at a very fast speed down a slope road section. All the dead passengers were female. Many of the passengers were trapped for hours because of the way the bus crashed. You won’t believe it until you see a picture, go check out the news online.

It took them three hours to get all the passengers out of the bus. There were at least 10 ambulances, 1 helicopter at a nearby sports court, fire fighters, policemen, investigators, and many more. Passengers were brought to over 5 different hospitals. When I heard about it on the bus over to KCC, I didnt’ think much of it. The news was also mentioned during lunch, but it didn’t fully hit me until I was running on a treadmill and turned to the news channel.

By then, it was almost 5:30PM. And they were Just starting to clear out the truck, at least the top of the truck that had fallen apart. By about 6 to 6:30PM, the whole scene was cleared. It took a full 9 hours. That’s insane.

Watching the different clips that was shown on the news made me cringe. It was heart breaking watching the passengers slowly being pulled and carried out of the bus, those who were only had minor injures were greatly affected emotionally. A clip of a little kid, perhaps 6 years old, was brought to the hospital because he was mentally affected.

Just before I went to the gym, just before I saw all that, I was reading a book called “Duplicate This” By Andy Braner. The chapter I read mentioned leaving a bible study, or leaving church not feeling like you know everything or that you are fulfilled- but instead, left with questions and wonders. While watching this tragedy, I had a question that many many people ask. Christians and non-Christians.

Why would God let these things happen?

Sure, God has a reason behind all things. He doesn’t create these tragedies but he allows them to happen. But the thought of having more than 50 elders either dead or greatly injured because the driver might be speeding, or whatever the cause was, is unbelievable.

I give my heart out to all these affected. The passengers, the families and relatives that are related to them, and acquaintances that know them. I pray that they will soon have a sense of peacefulness, I pray that they will seek God’s love and protection. I pray God will work in His ways through this tragedy. The more I think about it, the more I’m left speechless, the more I ponder.

Trusting In Christ,

How often do we think about ourselves? Our life? How often do we think about how our lives fit into the story of the world? The story of God? Some of us star in our own “tiny” story that only lasts for so long, but some of us has a role in the greatest story, where the star is God, his forever-lasting story and unfolding drama.

The soundtrack of the people of God.

Every day is one day closer to spending a year in Cambodia. I received an email that takes me one step closer. I have a couple of issues to sort out but once that is done, It will all be set. God continues to amaze me by showing and bringing me all these friends in Cambodia who are willing to do whatever needed to help me get settled, help me feel less anxious. That brings me to my surprise of the day..

I received an email from a friend I met during Interim last year. He worked at the school that our interim worked with, so we saw each other every day and spent some time together. I haven’t talked to him since Last March and today, I came home to a pleasant surprise. He offered me advice in preparation for Cambodia, he offered help whenever I needed, and simply, emailed to let me know he would be avaliable if I had any questions, a friend I could depend on.

It amazes me how God connects all the dots around me. He puts people in my life and through them, He shows His love and grace for me. Other things might not be going well, but there is one thing I can depend on- God is showing me His plan for me step by step. It’s like he’s telling me the most important thing right now is to focus and pray about my year of service in Cambodia, everything else is secondary.

This reminds me of the small part I partake in the Big Story of God. I might be courages, and according to others, I might be the “STAr” of my life, but nothing compares to what God has done for us. What a star he is. It excites me to be one of the many characters God’s created in His story. Looking forward to what He’s got set for me.

What kind of story are YOU in? Which road are you walking on?

I’m sorry this entry have been a little out of order, jumping everywhere. I’m quite exhausted but I needed to get it out before I delay and don’t end up writing anything!

Have you ever had days where you just needed a good worship time?  Where you felt you needed to be surrounded by your brothers and sisters but for some reason, didn’t have to chance? Perhaps. This past Sunday, I had something important to do and didn’t have time to catch even worship for the second service, unfortunately. I had to go get my ankle checked up, which I’m glad I had done. Fortunately, it’s just a sprain and nothing more but it is still big, fat, swollen and purple- very attractive!

When I realized I couldn’t make it to second service, I wasn’t disappointed but I felt I had needed a spiritual lift. I never realized, until Sunday, how important church was to me. It made me realize that I wasn’t going to church just because I was in the habit of going, nor was I going because of the friends I had there, I go to church weekly because I want to be. Because of the comfort I felt being able to stop for two hours, sing praises to the Lord and listen to the word of the Lord.

When I was young and had to go to a Chinese Catholic church with my family frequently, I always dreaded it, because of various reasons. Maybe because I didn’t understand it, maybe because of the environment but I had always gone because I “Had” to. Thinking about the past reminds me of how comfortable I feel being at ECC.

I have found my HOME church in Hong Kong.

As to my plans for the next few years, I have just sent a confirmation letter over to Cambodia finalizing my decision to work at the international school for my gap year. Though I don’t have my spot in college fully “secured” yet for the Fall of 2009, I trust that it will work out the way it’s suppose to, the way it’s planned. I worried the last few weeks about the school not allowing the gap year, but each day has worries of itself, I’m leaving it up to God- knowing He has it all planned out.

My thoughts a year ago of spending a year of Cambodia is soon to be reality, it excites me but I won’t deny that it scares me. Being by myself for so long for the first time in my life, taking care of my own expenses, etc. Thankfully, I have amazing friends, colleagues and a great church in Cambodia who will be able to take care of me and help me get settled.

A little less than four months, sounds like a life time but I know it will come just when I think life is starting to slow down. Soon begins a New Adventure. Thanks for the many thoughts and prayers.

Praise GOD!