Joanne Lam

Choose Love this Valentines Day

“Compatibility is an achievement of love. It cannot be its precondition.”
– Alain de Botton

In observance of Valentines Day, I’m writing on love.

I was driving around this weekend to my various parties and events and managed to catch a bit of Krista Tippett’s podcast On Being. Every since I’ve moved to Austin, I’ve listened to next to zero podcasts due to the lack of time (most importantly, the lack of driving time). Living in Southern California forced me to be on the road for at least 20 minutes every time I got in the car, so I had plenty of opportunities to catch up on different podcasts. Now, I’d be happy if I can get 15 minutes of one podcast in. No complaints though. I’m enjoying my short time on the road.

This past week, my 15 minute moment of podcast listening was an interview of Krista Tippet with Alain de Botton, the author of one of the most viewed essays in New York Times in 2016. His essay was called “Why You will Marry the Wrong person.” Fascinating and thought-provoking essay.

During this time of the year, hearts are all around us. Valentines Day has become a commercial holiday in which restaurants and shops ponder how they can make even more money from us this year. Many in relationships expect gifts and grand gestures from their respective lovers, and those single celebrate galantines day or single awareness day.

This year, I propose each and every one of us to think about our perception of love. With the influence of media, books, and pretty much everything under the sun, we have this ideal of what love it – the romantic gestures, conflict-less, butterflies in our stomach and happily ever after. Yet, realistically, love is much more difficult than that.

Love takes work. Love requires acknowledgment and acceptance that the other is simply human, with flaws, fears and everything in between but the funny thing about love is that the closer you get to someone, the easier their flaws start to frustrate you. Take families’ for example, we don’t choose who our families are, we are simply “thrown together with a group of people who you would never pick if you could simply pick on the grounds of compatibility.” Thus, giving us the very first on-going test of our lives: How do we love those who drive us crazy?

“We must fiercely resist the idea that true love must mean conflict-free love, that the course of true love is smooth. It’s not. The course of true love is rocky and bumpy at the best of times. That’s the best we can manage as the creatures we are. It’s no fault of mine or no fault of yours; it’s to do with being human. And the more generous we can be towards that flawed humanity, the better chance we’ll have of doing the true hard work of love.”
– Alain De Botton

With the ease of anonymity on the internet these days, it becomes considerably more difficult to choose love; to acknowledge that love stumbles, survives, evolves and deepens over time and the process has much more to do with ourselves than with what is right or wrong about the other.

Today, let’s make a conscious choice to choose love. Humanity depends on it. And it’s up to us to teach the future generations what love requires.

Happy Valentines Day, 2017.

The Importance of Nature

“Nature’s peace will flow into you as sun shine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.” – John Muir, Our National Parks

The abundance of nature is all around us. Some of us live closer to parks than others, but with 58 national parks in the United States- I promise there is one closer to you than you think. I’m blessed to live in Austin, TX where the weather throughout the year is pretty incredible, and that being outdoors is basically a requirement.

I figured it was a good time to write a short post about the beauty and importance of nature due to a few reasons:

Hamilton Pool Reserve is absolutely gorgeous (see photos below),
The National Park Service turned 100 last August (1916-2016),
Trump’s gag orders to block the Environmental Protection Agency and Department of Agriculture from community with the public (although Badlands National Park in South Dakota bravely tweeted a string of facts on climate change and evolution against Trump’s gag order…. brilliant)
Hiking/being out in nature can be a way of providing active rest for your body and your brain, bringing about creative reflection and restorative mental health.

As I strolled through the trees, glare at the shimmery water fall and sparkly green water at Hamilton Pool, I couldn’t help but wonder how many stories these walls have captured. Every day, hundreds of visitors step foot around those trees, telling tales to one another, breathing in the fresh air, and listening to the sound of the birds and the wind- all of which nature captures in detail.

Some days we’re too busy to get out to nature. And some days we’re simply too lazy. But if we don’t constantly remind ourselves to experience the beauty around us, one day, we’ll be wishing it was still there. F rom now on, I will (unless it’s raining…..) most certainly strive to go for a stroll to explore more of the gorgeous world around us- even if its just a for an hour or two.

Until then, stay informed about the Dakota Pipeline developments. This pipeline (if built) serves to provide a more efficient way of transporting crude oil BUT it also will contaminate drinking water and damage sacred burial sites for the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe on their reservation. Obama denied/blocked the development of this pipeline a few months ago after a widespread protest all. Within a few days of being in office, President Trump has signed permits to allow for this development. Sure, it’ll bring jobs, Sure it’ll benefit the local government. Sure it may benefit farmers but is that all worth it at the expense of our environment + our Native American Tribal neighbors?

P.S. Thanks to In Steady Rotation for the gorgeous photos and capturing my mood through images. Pictures speak a thousand words.

The weekend I fled to Guadalajara, Mexico

Dear followers,

I apologize for the lack of communication and update on here. Or maybe I’m the only one reading it thus, I should be apologizing to myself but time has gotten a hold of me and next thing I know- it’s already October. Where did time go?

September was a whirl wind. It took me quite a few weeks to get adjusted to the work lifestyle, and had to make some changes in my life to make sure I was making the most out of my time here in Austin. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the “I go to work for 9 hours, then I’m tired and just want to sit at home and feel sad I don’t have any other life” mentality. Have you been in that situation before? I can most certainly say most of us have been there. If you haven’t, you probably will. If you never reach that mentality: props to you. Keep it up!

With that said, once I mentality and practically made changes to my life, things got better- and time started flying by even faster. Thankfully, I get a floating holiday for my birthday from work. So what do I do?

Yes, you guessed it. I studied my monthly work schedule and found the weekend where I was able to take 4 whole days off… a long weekend. I rarely get two days off in a row for weekends, let alone long weekends! So, of course Paul and I took advantage of my break, left the country & fled to Guadalajara, Mexico.

Let’s be real, we really just wanted an extra stamp in our passport.

Guadalajara is the second biggest city in Mexico after Mexico City. We had never thought of visiting there, but tickets were cheap- and it ended up being a great choice! Located in the Jalisco state, it is not quite as touristy as Mexico City would be. It is incredibly cheap (with the US currency at the moment…) and is an hour away from the town called “Tequila”. That’s pretty much the only reason you need to go right? Right. Now go to flights.google.com and check out the prices!

Ok Ok, I probably haven’t convinced you enough yet. Well let me tell you a little bit about what we did. We ate a lot of tacos, ate goat meat (birria), shopped at the largest market in Mexico (Mercado San Juan de Dios), visited a Tequila distillery tour & learned about the process of agave to tequila, ate at the home of Cholula hot sauce (in Tequila, Jalisco), watched Chivas vs Morelia’s play at the Chivas stadium (Vamos Chivas!), and ate more tacos.

Take a look at the beauty of Guadalajara, Jalisco yourself from the photos below…

Within the next week or two, I hope to write another blog titled “that traveler we never want to become”. It will be about one of the guests at the hostel we stayed at, who no one really knows how long he’s been there, how long he’s been traveling, and why he’s drinking every second of the day. It was entertaining- until it wasn’t.

Alas, that’s for another blog post. For now, thanks for reading my update! Feel free to leave me a comment if you have any questions about my travels and want to know more about anything more specifically.

Hasta Luego!

Have I the soul of a free man or the soul of a slave?

The last few days I’ve been reading The Richest Man in Babylon, a book originally published in 1926. Author George Samuel Clason shares financial advice through a collection of parables set in ancient Babylon. The style of writing is very Shakespearean- old english. It threw me off at the beginning but I felt myself getting hooked page after page.

I never thought I’d be reading a book on wealth building, but I’m incredibly thankful to have stumbled upon this book. It’s not only forcing me to think about my own financial life, but also teaching me the business and leadership skills needed for further professional development.

In the story, The Camel Trader of Babylon, the character finds himself as a slave to survive after making a series of financial mistakes. As he works as a slave, and ponder what the rest of his life will look like, he gets a wake up call when he’s asked: “Have you the soul of a free man or the soul of a slave?”

“The soul of a free man!!” he answers without a doubt.

“How can you call yourself a free man when your weakness has brought you to this? If a man has in himself the soul of a slave will he not become one no matter what his birth, even as water seeks its level? If a man has within him the soul of a free man, will he not become respected and honored in his own city in spite of his misfortune?”

_______________________________

It’s a powerful thought when you begin to think about yourself as either having the soul of a freeman or the soul of a slave. Have you a soul of a slave or the world? Have you the soul of a freeman? I certainly don’t think you have either one or the other. At times we may feel as though we are slaving away at our jobs, at school, and at all those things we’re required to do but we also have the soul of a freeman if we allow ourselves to.

In another words, “the soul of a freeman looks at life as a series of problems to be solved and solves them, while the soul of a slave whines, ‘What can I do who am but a slave?’.

What separates a soul of a freeman and a soul of a slave is one’s determination. Where the determination is, the way can be found.

_______________________________

The last few months have been a test of patience, determination, and trust in myself as I graduated with a Master’s degree and dived into the job hunting world. I can safely say I was determined, and I trusted myself to be able to find a job that I’d be excited to go into. A company I’m excited to join. Despite moments of anxiousness, nervousness, and fear of failure- I didn’t allow myself to fall into that fearful trap.

Over 6 interviews and two months later, I’ve officially signed an offer with a company that’s growing, expanding in more ways than one. Not only will I be working full time with them, but also continuing to learn academically through their business training program. It’ll be busy and it’ll be tough but nothing good ever comes without hard work! In fact, reading The Richest man in Babylon is the first assignment and I’m already enjoying it so far!

I plan to share some my insights and learning with all of you, my dear readers, in the next two years as I embark in this new journey.

A Comfortable Home

Home. 家.

We can define home so many different ways, it can be a physical location, a city, a country, or merely a group of people that we’re with that makes us feel at home. In this particular post, I’ll be talking about a physical location and environment.

For the last 6+ years, I’ve been moving around quite a bit. Living in a college dorm didn’t feel like home, but sharing an apartment with good friend as well as my brother certainly felt like home. Once I moved to LA, the feeling of “home” was lost once again. I was sharing a house with acquaintances and it simply didn’t feel as comfortable as it could’ve.

About two weeks ago, I moved to Austin, TX and to my surprise, I immediately felt comfortable. Perhaps it’s because I’m living in an apartment setting once again, being in close proximity with other residents, and feeling their presence even if I don’t know them. Perhaps it’s because I can drive to the other side of town North/South Austin in about 25 mins (although traffic can be pretty bad at times but it’s no Los Angeles Traffic). Perhaps it’s the heat and humidity. Perhaps it’s all the amazing events I can go to. Perhaps my mind is simply at peace with being in a city. I’m sure it’s a combination of all of the above.

Whatever the reason may be, I’m thankful. I’m blessed to have the opportunity to live in Austin, to see what “Keep Austin Weird” is all about. More importantly, I’m thankful because I believe that the feeling of comfort is providing me with more positive energy – which is something that is crucial in the process of job hunting.

With all that said, I’m really just writing to say that Austin has been treating me well! Here’s hoping that Austin continues to feel like home for however long I will be here.

What makes you feel like home? What are the characteristics of YOUR home?