I’m not really sure what other word to describe my experience the last few days but as interesting.  I had the chance to sit in new teacher orientations; all teacher meetings, etc. I’ve felt the tension between teachers as one disagrees with another. As boring as some of these meetings can be, I am constantly reminded of how fortunate I am to have the chance to do what I am doing this year. It continues to amaze me how God has put Cambodia in my heart years ago, and ultimately brought me here to Cambodia to serve for a year.

As I start to understand more the background of Logos, and the background of Asian Hope… I realize that God has put me here to do so much more than being a regular teacher assistant. Coming to this realization helps us remember that God reveals His plan for us step by step, and all we can do is have faith and trust in Him.

It has only been a few days but I have felt tension within the school, I have heard of the problems within that many struggle with. I have talked to a few people and when I mention the teacher that I will be TA-ing for, they laugh and wish me luck. They tell me that she is not an easy person to work with (possibly the hardest in the school), that all her previous TAs had trouble with her, and that she tends to give them a hard time. At which point, I ask myself… What have I gotten myself into? How can I, a fresh high school graduate meet the expectations of this teacher who have been in education for more than 20 years?

Till now, I have no idea what I’m doing. I sit in meetings wondering how everything is relevant to me. I feel like an “intern”, which in a way I am, but reality kicks in and I am reminded that I am now working in the real world, it’s no longer something that I can just do and let the time pass.

I was sitting in a coffee shop with a few colleagues (or friends, I would call them) today after 7 hours of meetings just relaxing and having a chat, suddenly a thought came through my mind. God was giving me some answers to the doubts and questions that I was having. I came to realize that He purposely put me in the place I am in right now.

It is going to be a growing year in many different ways. God will teach me to be quiet, to be patience, to listen and do, to show love at times of frustrations. He has put me, the youngest teacher in the school, to work under one of the toughest teacher with high expectations. He will also use me to teach others the love of Christ… that seems fairly vague mainly because I don’t know He will do that yet but He has given me a vague visualization of a broken heart that will be healed and told me that I might be the youngest person and feel like the most useless person but I will impact something or someone in a personal way.

I am so grateful for the good friends, who are colleagues at Logos, that I have built a strong relationship with the last few days. Though I have only known them for less than a week, they have encouraged me and taken care of me, in all aspects of my transition. This transition would be a lot more difficult without these people.

Please continue to pray for me, for my safety and for God to open up my heart to these Cambodian people and do everything that I can. Pray that he will continue to show step by step His plans for me.

Disclaimer: This was written on the first night I got to Cambodia, sitting at home with no internet and no one at home. Things have gotten better since then.

People always say, as long as you keep yourself busy, you won’t think about it and everything will be okay. How much of that do you believe?

The week before coming here, to Phnom Penh, Cambodia… I have had multiple appointments every day, to say the least. I rarely had any downtime to myself and when I did, I was too exhausted to do anything but listen to my I-pod and space out.

A day ago, I told myself I was ready for to leave. I was ready to start fresh and not to have the chance to worry or think about things that are back in Hong Kong. Well, I have arrived. It has been a rough day from thinking everything will be great to, let’s try to be strong.

I am thankful for old friends in Cambodia, thankful for new friends I made today as well as friends in Hong Kong- all who understands how hard this transition is for me. As much as I want to be by myself because I don’t want anyone to see me break down, it is nice to have my housemates for the night sit by me. The more they want to get to know me, the more I am trying not to be weak.  The harder it gets.

“You don’t seem young at all, so I keep forgetting this is your first time off by yourself away from home. It’s okay to feel the way you do. It’s okay to be scared.”

I was able to talk on the phone with two friends from HK tonight, which was very nice. One conversation was very brief but being able to hear his voice made me feel that much better and worse all at the same time.

How amazing it is to think of how everything has come together, How God has worked through it all. The upcoming year will be a year of excitement, sadness, happiness, humbleness, and many more.

Seriously?
today’s the day?

shit. i hope it goes well.

is it normal to want to go for a run at 3 in the morning?

Every time I sit down on my computer with my packing list on my screen, my mind goes blank. Am I trying to avoid packing? perhaps. but sometime this week, I will try and do all my packing and the last week in town, I will probably be living out of a suitcase.

I haven’t really spent time writing on wordpress in a while. It’s not because I don’t want to, but when I have time to sit down and write- I’m not sure what all to write. I don’t want to be redundant and talk about how much I will miss HK and my friends here. But lately, that’s all that’s been happening.

I had to chance to meet up with some old friends the last week, and it’s been nice catching up. I have noticed that I tend to enjoy and spending one on one time with people more than a big group. I tend to stay very quiet when I’m with a group, but talk and open up more when I am with someone individually.

For the last three weeks, I have been working as a Teacher Assistant for R2 day camp every morning. I wasn’t very stoked before I started but it has been a good three weeks and I have gotten to know the kids in the class. It’s been a preparation for Cambodia for me. I have realized I enjoy working with kids and taking care of them.

I’ve had the chance to observe many types of kids through the last three weeks, some extremely shy and quiet, some continously bouncing off the walls, and some that are in between. There are two little boys that could be considered as “trouble makers” and that’s what we called them the first week or so. But as time passed by, I’ve noticed they both have very unique characters.

Arnold, is 6 years and 7 months old, as he would tell you. He doesn’t listen well in class, he has an attitude when you try to talk to him, and is very easily irratated. When we give him a “Time Out”, we make him sit at the side and draw. Not knowing that is exactly what he likes to do. At the end of the class every day, he would have a full page of “Doreamon” a japanese cartoon character. He draws out of stratch but it is absolutely astoning. I will put a picture up as soon as I am able to.

Anthony, 7 years old I believe, is the same in class. He has trouble listening and sitting still. He walks around the hall by myself and ignores us when we tell him to go back to class. But he is like an older brother to the students in the class that are younger than him. He is willing to give up swimming time to take care of a boy who didn’t want to swim. He tries to play with the older kids during break time, but of course, ends up getting hurt for some reason and then would sit in the side and “pretend” to cry. It’s great. I think he is going to be one that ends up growing up to be all macho and tough on the outside, but will have a very sweet and soft heart. Oh and on a side note, he gives the best hugs.

These are only two of the many sweet, adorable yet annoying kids in my class. OH kids.

Like a peacork baby.