Gratefulness

Disclaimer: This was written on the first night I got to Cambodia, sitting at home with no internet and no one at home. Things have gotten better since then.

People always say, as long as you keep yourself busy, you won’t think about it and everything will be okay. How much of that do you believe?

The week before coming here, to Phnom Penh, Cambodia… I have had multiple appointments every day, to say the least. I rarely had any downtime to myself and when I did, I was too exhausted to do anything but listen to my I-pod and space out.

A day ago, I told myself I was ready for to leave. I was ready to start fresh and not to have the chance to worry or think about things that are back in Hong Kong. Well, I have arrived. It has been a rough day from thinking everything will be great to, let’s try to be strong.

I am thankful for old friends in Cambodia, thankful for new friends I made today as well as friends in Hong Kong- all who understands how hard this transition is for me. As much as I want to be by myself because I don’t want anyone to see me break down, it is nice to have my housemates for the night sit by me. The more they want to get to know me, the more I am trying not to be weak.  The harder it gets.

“You don’t seem young at all, so I keep forgetting this is your first time off by yourself away from home. It’s okay to feel the way you do. It’s okay to be scared.”

I was able to talk on the phone with two friends from HK tonight, which was very nice. One conversation was very brief but being able to hear his voice made me feel that much better and worse all at the same time.

How amazing it is to think of how everything has come together, How God has worked through it all. The upcoming year will be a year of excitement, sadness, happiness, humbleness, and many more.

3 thoughts on “Gratefulness

  1. Char says:

    Dearest Jo,
    You will be totally fine. We all (as in, Dom and I and everyone in your extensive list of friends all over the world) miss you and think of you all the time.
    And you are ridiculously strong and grownup, but every time you feel like things are getting crappy, think of me crying my way through Europe. The best of times is often the worst of times. If that doesn’t make you feel better, think “satchut”.
    I love you, miss you and pray for you majorly.
    Because that’s what friends do.
    Giant hugs and a moan,
    Charmaine

  2. Char says:

    ALSO. I’m glad you’re staying positive and I will send you photos. AND I can’t believe that I have to go to Sahara without you when I get back to HK. And I can’t believe that you won’t be the first person I call to hang out with when I get back to HK.
    sigh.
    How old I feel.

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