I’m not really sure what other word to describe my experience the last few days but as interesting. I had the chance to sit in new teacher orientations; all teacher meetings, etc. I’ve felt the tension between teachers as one disagrees with another. As boring as some of these meetings can be, I am constantly reminded of how fortunate I am to have the chance to do what I am doing this year. It continues to amaze me how God has put Cambodia in my heart years ago, and ultimately brought me here to Cambodia to serve for a year.
As I start to understand more the background of Logos, and the background of Asian Hope… I realize that God has put me here to do so much more than being a regular teacher assistant. Coming to this realization helps us remember that God reveals His plan for us step by step, and all we can do is have faith and trust in Him.
It has only been a few days but I have felt tension within the school, I have heard of the problems within that many struggle with. I have talked to a few people and when I mention the teacher that I will be TA-ing for, they laugh and wish me luck. They tell me that she is not an easy person to work with (possibly the hardest in the school), that all her previous TAs had trouble with her, and that she tends to give them a hard time. At which point, I ask myself… What have I gotten myself into? How can I, a fresh high school graduate meet the expectations of this teacher who have been in education for more than 20 years?
Till now, I have no idea what I’m doing. I sit in meetings wondering how everything is relevant to me. I feel like an “intern”, which in a way I am, but reality kicks in and I am reminded that I am now working in the real world, it’s no longer something that I can just do and let the time pass.
I was sitting in a coffee shop with a few colleagues (or friends, I would call them) today after 7 hours of meetings just relaxing and having a chat, suddenly a thought came through my mind. God was giving me some answers to the doubts and questions that I was having. I came to realize that He purposely put me in the place I am in right now.
It is going to be a growing year in many different ways. God will teach me to be quiet, to be patience, to listen and do, to show love at times of frustrations. He has put me, the youngest teacher in the school, to work under one of the toughest teacher with high expectations. He will also use me to teach others the love of Christ… that seems fairly vague mainly because I don’t know He will do that yet but He has given me a vague visualization of a broken heart that will be healed and told me that I might be the youngest person and feel like the most useless person but I will impact something or someone in a personal way.
I am so grateful for the good friends, who are colleagues at Logos, that I have built a strong relationship with the last few days. Though I have only known them for less than a week, they have encouraged me and taken care of me, in all aspects of my transition. This transition would be a lot more difficult without these people.
Please continue to pray for me, for my safety and for God to open up my heart to these Cambodian people and do everything that I can. Pray that he will continue to show step by step His plans for me.