The day the rents left

It’s only been a week, but it feels like months.

The beginning of a new journey. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. I have been to Cambodia multiple times before but each time no longer than a week… or less. Each time going to the airport, I was the one checking in and getting on a plane but this time was different. Sending my parents off was not easy, and still- hours later.. I’m trying to hang in there.

It was a strange feeling going to the airport in Phnom Penh and not leave, it made it so much clearer that I was. actually. staying here relatively long term. Though I didn’t see my parents all that much this week, it was nice to have them around.. to have dinner with them and go around town in a tuk tuk.

Thankfully, Vannak, one of my great Khmer friends here, went with me so it wasn’t too painful. Riding on his moto going home.. I didn’t say a word but it was nice to have company. The next few hours, whoever asked how I was doing, I couldn’t help myself but to tear up. I don’t enjoy being weak and teary but it was hard to hold back.

I think it wasn’t only the fact that I was sending my parents off that is killing me.  It’s that it reminds me of home. Hong Kong. the bright lights in the city. The tall buildings. The harbor that keeps getting smaller and smaller. The amazing night life. The safety. the MTR. This Music Studio. Sahara. Movie theaters… Etc. I will save you the boredom because this list can go on forever.

With all that being said, there was a reason God put me here and as hard as it will be, it will be an amazing year. There will be times where I will want to break down and I will, but I will regain strength through God. As I go through each day, He is making me stronger.

I really am by myself now. The beginning of something new.

4 thoughts on “The day the rents left

  1. jon says:

    hey there, i know it is kinda tough. but you’ve got the best person in your corner to help you get through this. God. and there is no way i’ll let anything happen to you. so don’t worry, i’ll always be a loooooooong distance phone call away.

  2. corrie says:

    hey Jo,
    i sympathize with you and completely understand the initial feelings of beginning something new. and i want you to know that it is okay to be not okay. it’s okay to show weakness, fear, sadness, and uncertainty. during your weakness, God can shine through and will shine through. i know it’s kind of tacky, but God and His love is what will get you through each day.
    i’ll be praying for you girl and you can e-mail me/facebook me anytime.
    the first couple of weeks will be difficult, frustrating, hard and lonely. but it’s okay. it’ll get better in time and by the end, i know you won’t want to leave. it’s a constant daily struggle of loving what you’re doing and hating it/wishing you weren’t there. but what you are doing is going to be life changing and you’re going to learn so much about love, patience, life, finding yourself. if not, well at least this is a great experience that millions don’t have the opportunity to have.
    i love you jo and am incredibly proud of you!
    always,
    – corrie

  3. Kevin says:

    Hi Jo, how are you settling down in Cambodia? Started teaching yet? Lets talk on MSN one of these days! Be strong and enjoy your new life helping those in need! Go Go is always here to support you!

  4. daddy says:

    jo, though we left you behind, but we had the same feeling as you. we would like to have you too on the plan. However, thinking about you to meet your goal, we just have to be painful for a short period. We all members of Lam’s family will always be with you and supporting you!!! you will get through this tough period.

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