My year in Cambodia is coming to an end, and more importantly, my year volunteering at this Christian International School is coming to an end- in exactly 4 days. I will be honest about many of my struggles this year. This year has been difficult in many ways and absolutely incredible in others.

Though I might not understand how God has shaped me this year in Cambodia, I know sometime in the future the fruits will grow and He will show me what all those struggles were all about. If there is one thing that God had me work on this year, it’s submission.I don’t like to complain too much about not getting paid while doing the work that I do here, but I won’t deny that it is not a struggle. As the teachers talk in excitement about getting paid each month for their effort, I sit in the back and wonder what I get for my effort?

It is not the easiest to get along with my colleagues as well. Yes I have definitely had great moments with them, going to the beach for a few days, random nights out in town eating ice cream… but more often than not, I don’t feel 100% comfortable around many of them. Whether it be an invisible tension or the fear of being judged for who I really am, it causes me to venture out into the rest of Cambodia and meet friends in many different other ways. And perhaps that’s exactly why God put me in that position!

Since I had to venture out into town more often than not to get a break and some fresh air, I have met amazing people who are either traveling for a few days or have decided to settle for a few months. Friends who I know I will be in contact with for many years to come. God has proven His faithfulness to me through the joy I have recieved from outside of my work and living enviornment.

I am happy to help any of my friends if they ask for help, but when it comes to an acquaintance who I don’t get along with, one who takes me for granted and one’s attitude that gets to my gut every time they speak, you’ll have to drag my butt off the chair to do anything patiently with love for them. It’s only through God’s strength and grace this year that I have learned to submit to others, at the same time have patient and be humble in everything I do.

Before I came to Cambodia, I had been telling myself that it will be good to spend a year in a Christian enviornment, living with colleagues/house mates who I would be able to fellowship with and build up my faith before I go to University. Ironically, God has not only pulled me out of that eniovrnment a lot this year (though I feel like it’s a little sad…) , He showed me I don’t have to purposely put myself in an enviornment of Christians in order to feel Christ Love. God has used me to speak to friends who might not be Christians through my time spent with them, and simply being a friend. I have heard friends question me about the stereotypes of Christians, and how I break many of those stereotypes. I praise God for the gift He instilled in me to be able to minister the way I do.

With that being said, I’m no where near perfect. There are days where I will be proud, arrogant and just want to be Praised for what I do here. There are days where I curse and wonder why I’m spending my time with people who are causing me frustrations and stress that I don’t need…. Thankfully God is still working on me. Despite all that, I Praise God for His patience and His constant unchanging love.

1 Peter 5:5-6 … Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

A colleague, who also happens to be a good friend of mine decided to take a 6 hour bus ride to Siem Reap for a 5 day holiday. We wanted to relax, hide away from the crowds and the busy-ness of the world and do nothing… and that is exactly what we are doing. 

I went to Angkor Wat this morning for the 2nd time in my life. Four years ago, I got the chance to go for Interim but honestly, I was too young to pay much attention to the history and the detailed carvings of it all. Four years later, walking around the different temples, memories of interim came back to me but most of all it was incredible to see the carvings and the rocks up close. It was also very nice to be able to walk around in my own pace, without rushing everywhere. 

Other than that, we have been eating, sleeping, napping, watching tv, using the internet, and walking around pub street. Oh wait, we played Wii last night with a few other couch surfers. Praise God for friends, and holidays.

 

It’s nice to be on holiday and relax but the last two weeks have also been one of the best. I met a whole group of new friends and got the chance to hang out with them every night for a week and a half. I felt incredibly relaxed being with the “lake side massive”. After the first day I met them, they took me in like one of their own crowd and reminded me not to be a stranger though I did not live at Lakeside. 

Last Friday was a rough day, one of my great new friends left Cambodia. I sent him off in the morning in the bus and I was a mess all day. We got to know each other unlike others within the span of two weeks. I didn’t have to worry about anything when we hung around each other, was able to talk about anything freely, its one of the best feelings one could have. Every day, I wish I was more selfish to convince him to stay for another month instead of encouraging him to move on with his travels so we could spend another great month together. But so goes life. 

With the friendship we have built, I’m sure we won’t lose touch and we will see each other soon. Whether soon means a few months or a few years.. Till then, I’m thinking about you and wishing you the best.

Have you ever wanted God to show you a clear path? Ever felt lost and confused? It’s okay. It’s okay to be angry, to be sad.. it’s not easy. I battle with it myself each and other day. I am learning slowly to fall down to His knees, resist temptations and my own desires for the Mercy of God.

7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double‑minded.9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.

10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

-James 4:6-10

I’m back in Phnom Penh from my week holiday back home in HK… just started work today again. My holiday at home was great, it flew by and by the time I realized.. I was jumping on a plane in the morning. It was great being able to catch up with old teachers, friends and family.

It is hot here in Cambodia. I don’t even think “hot” can explain it. But I am blessed to have a fan and an air conditioner at home to get a good nights rest at night.

I was able to attend my home church on Easter Sunday and it was fabulous! I was in awe during the worship and the service. One of my favorite songs is “True Love” by Phil Wickham.. and Tim did a GREAt job leading that song on the 2nd floor.

During the service, our Pastor expressed how he went to Cambodia just the weekend before for a few days and went to visit the Steung Meanchey Municipal Landfill. It threw me off guard when he started talking about it. I didn’t expect it at all but it was so refreshing and definitely God’s way of showing me God is doing great work in Cambodia.. as much as I don’t see it when I am actually here!!

Yesterday, I attended the church here in Cambodia and it was different. It felt like a routine again, but I am praying and asking God to break me, teach me, and use me here during my last 7 weeks in Cambodia. This time coming back, I feel a little like I am ready to be home for the summer, but I know that God will continue to use me in the little time I have left. Even if I don’t see the fruits of it…

Here’s my encouragement for you today… God is using you to build a seed in wherever you are and whatever you are doing. It might take months, days, or even years to see the fruits of it and by the time it comes, you might not even see it! But it’s there so have faith and know that God is working… He is working and breaking-through in the countries of this world.

I arrived back in Hong Kong this past Saturday for a one week holiday, I only have two more days left… time does fly. Not all that sure what I did that last few days. Maybe thats the beauty of it, not doing much and just… relaxing.

this post is more for myself than anything..
here is a list of things ive done, ate or people i’ve met so far..

– Easter Service at ECC
– japanese food
– italian food, pizzaria
– seafood
– ate a lamb donar kebab at ebeneezers!! hung out with Cindy and Cherie
– played Wii
– fabulous sparkling white wine, cappuccinos, desserts and food at Tuscany in Lan Kwai Fong
– Armani bar and Sahara with Bowie
– an evening catching up with Coach
– caught up with the Carlsons
– movie theaters!! watched “Shinjuku Incident”
– watching videos online with the fast connection.. yay.. currently watching manU vs Porto game..
-hanging out at Tuscany after they close for the night

two more days of fun! i’m getting excited for the summer already