I sit in front of a computer all day typing away so I think instead of writing a long post, I will go and read. Currently reading the Book of Exodus, which is also what we are studying at church these few weeks. I’ll leave you with one word.

Manna- the daily bread God provided when the Israelites’ were in the wilderness for 40 years. They were only allowed to gather enough portion for each day. How does that relate to us? It means take every day at a time, don’t worry about the next day because God takes care of us “ONE day at a time”.

An interesting event happened to me yesterday on my way to work in the morning. I had forgotten about it until I walked past the same place today and therefore, decided I should write about it. Mostly for my own reminder. My parents dropped me off at their work place and I walked to the MTR station to continue my journey to work.

I had just bought some breakfast, looked at the time and decided if I didn’t get a move on I’d be late to work! So I walked faster, hoping to catch the green light on the main road before I have to wait another 3 minutes to cross the road.

As I walked, out of the corner my eye there was a lady on a wheelchair. Unconsiously, I tried to walk faster because I thought she wanted to ask me for donation or such similar to that. I had places to go, people to see and didn’t have the time for that. I walked about a meter ahead of her before I heard her say “Excuse me? Can you help me knock on the bus and let the driver know I’m here?”

There are then it hit me. Was I in that  much of a rush to not care about my surroundings? Had I suddenly converted back to that mentality? I’m sorry. Perhaps it didn’t look like it to her but it doesn’t matter what other people sees and detects, I know what I thought and in a way, it felt like a stab in the heart.

Again, I’m sorry. God continues to teach and mold me.

It’s been a week since I’ve been back and I’m getting a little more use to being back in Hong Kong but not quite there yet. Here are some signs that show the “not quite back in HK mentality” mode…

– multiple times I have made a call to someone in Hong Kong and unconsiously I am aware about the time difference between Cambodia and HK. Little do I then realize I am in HK now and we are in the same time zone!

– by the end of work every day (school hours), I am so tired I feel like I got hit by a train. I get absolutely knackered by 8 or 9pm. I sleep 8+ hours at night but still feel like a train wreck in the morning. I could sleep 6 hours in Phnom Penh and function perfectly fine! I have no idea why…

– I still cross the street without looking at the traffic lights thinking the motos, tuk tuks, and cars will dodge me as they drive.

– when you don’t want to go out and spend any money.. especially when drinks and street noodles were only ONE US dollar on a regular basis.

– when I see any type of motorcycles around town, I just want to wave them down, hop on the back and tell them where to go. Oh and when I want to say “Sum bat sadam or Sum bat chuean” to bus drivers and taxis.

I’m sure there are more, perhaps I will add more as the thoughts come into my head. With all that being said, I am absolutely loving my new flat, the convinence of it all, the view of HK island and the victoria harbor and the enjoyment of being able to sit on my bed staring out the window for hours.

Church has been great. Being back at my home church is such a blessing. Of course being with friends to fellowship with is great but personally being able to listen and sing to the 30 mins worship set every Sunday is my highlight. Music has always been my worship style and I really struggled without solid worship music in Cambodia (Though God did reveal to me other ways of worship while lacking music) but on most weeks, one of my few highlights will be Sunday morning worship when I get to sing our heart out.

Hang on tight… one more day till the weekend!

For the first time this morning, I had to take the MTR (the underground train for those who don’t live in HK) during rush hour to work; between 8 and 9 in the morning. I’m sure I’ve taken it plenty of times before but when I was walking this morning.. an incredible rush of feelings came over me. I decided to write a text message to a friend about it and this was what I came up with: “Everyone is on a mission of their own, seeing them rush from train to train makes me wish I could read their mind and get to know their stories.”

After the relaxing slow lifestyle of Cambodia, it’s a bit shocking to finally come back to a fast-paced society like Hong Kong. But after a week of being back, I’m slowly settling and getting back in the swing of Hong Kong culture but at the same time holding back not wanting to be one of those people who rushes from place to place without slowing down and enjoying time off. It made me think back on Cambodia and the MANY times where I had nothing to do and was just relaxing at home, or relaxing at a coffee shop, not having appointments after appointments to attend to.

Millions of people in this world, and they’ve each got their own story.
That thought never fails to amaze me.

The more I try to explain to friends why I’ve been feeling the way I’ve felt this past week, the more it becomes clearer and more thoughts enter my mind. A friend was having a hard time understanding why being in my home town is difficult, and while he was questioning me- God spoke to me.

For the past 18 years, I’ve grown up in Hong Kong and I’ve been this “person” that everyone knows and we are somehow set to act a certain way. When I left for my gap year and spent a year in Cambodia, it was a new start, but not only that, God used that chance to transform me, to change me and by the very end of the year, I had found my place and without myself knowing, I was this “other person” in Cambodia. Like I said, I didn’t quite realize the change in me at the time when I was there, but now that I am back and trying to fit into my life here… I’ve realized that I’m no longer that person that everyone might expect me to be. With that being said, I’m still trying to figure out what exactly God changed in me- but that will all come in God’s time.

Before I continue blabbering, I better get to sleep.
Maybe thinking tomorrow x

My year in Cambodia has officially finished, I unwillingly dragged myself on the plane friday night and came back to Hong Kong. It has been good to be home and spend time with my parents but I have also been in a daze. Everything all of a sudden seems to be moving too fast, it’s like I don’t know how to live in HK anymore. It’s a very strange feeling. Some might call it, “Reverse culture shock”. I’m still trying to figure it all out myself!

There is one thing I’ve realized about my year out since I’ve been back. Though I love coming back to HK and catching up with old friends. I realize I’ve taken a step forward by going to Cambodia. I’ve found my place in Phnom Penh, made good friends and lead my own life. Now that I have left, and came back to HK… it’s like I’ve taken a step backwards. But with that being said, HK is like a stop over because I’ll be taking another step in a few months to university.

I have not been feeling very social the last few days and haven’t felt up to making small talks with everyone. I apologize for the lack of communications,but I am trying to sort myself out and perhaps reflection on my own part about the past year. I start work tomorrow and will be working Mon-Fri until probably the end of July. So I apologize in advance if I don’t get too much time to get together, but i’ll try my best!

I am, in fact, very looking forward to start work tomorrow; keep myself busy.

My thoughts have been all over the place, therefore, this entry was all over the place! Eitherway, I praise God for bringing me to where I am now, to bless me with all my experiences and to be able to find jobs for the summer without any hassle! I know He is working on me in His own time, therefore, I have no worry that I will feel better and start to be myself again.