In the past month, how many times have you thought to yourself, prayed to God and asked for a “sign” as a confirmation for you to do something, or even a sign to tell you what to do? I certainly have but honestly, I have always been skeptical of these “signs” we pray for. How do we know whats a sign? Some could say I don’t have enough faith or I don’t listen well enough but I beg to differ.

One of the biggest things we, as Christians, tend to struggle with is the will of direction. We are always told God has a plan and we need to seek and follow it. That’s definitely true, but I feel like there are a few problems with thinking we should have a calling for everything we do.

 

1. It misunderstands God and the spirit-lead life. If we use a dance floor as an example of God’s world, many people think its all about God’s direction and that he would lead us every second of the way when it’s all about God’s desire to mold our characters. It’s His desire for us that will inform our direction.

2. It makes God to be someone that’s hard to hear even though he’s already made that decision. I definitely agree with this one because I know many people, including myself that always wonders why we rarely hear God speaking to us or giving us an answer. Many times its because we sit back and wait for him to talk to us instead of seeking his will for us.

3. It shifts personal responsibility off of yourself. Great example being “Say no to dating because God says I shouldn’t” as oppose to “I don’t like you.” Enough said.

Personal: When I have decided to take a year off in Cambodia, I use to tell everyone that God has lead me to Cambodia. (Instead of God has given me this desire…) Thinking back, that is one of the most vague and confusing answers I could give to Non-Christians.

4. Similar to 3, it’s quite subjective. It’s then hard to distinguish between our thoughts and feelings versus God’s thoughts and feelings.

5. Finally, it is not and should not be a norm to seek for him and just wait for the direction. In the book of acts, we can see that Jesus makes predictions in many different scenarios but in none of those examples did they seek after God.

 

God has always shown and told us his will – Be aware of our world, see the needs and GO be fishers of man. As we go along, He will direct us. As we continue to know Him and be more like Him, desires will fill our hearts and we are free to make choices whether to follow them or not. Make choices based on whether those desires fulfill God’s desires or not, these include the ten commandments)

Once you begin to understand that, the idea of God’s free will becomes much more apparent.

 

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers-most of which are never even seen- don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.” Matthew 6:30-33 (The Message)

It’s almost 4 in the morning and I am still awake. I didn’t go out or have anything productive to do. I tried to go to bed by 2am because I have to wake up at 10am but could not fall asleep. Maybe it’s the tea, or now that I think about it… maybe it’s the change of environment again. I have slept on a thin mattress the last month in an empty apartment, and tonight I moved back to my original home in Hong Kong. You’d think I’d be able to sleep on my soft awesome bed again but that’s not the case.

I’m still in the living room on a mattress, a thicker one this time. My eyes feel drowsy but once I turn off my computer and lay down, they’d be wide open again. I’ve got just over a month till I go back to the United States, first New York then Boston. It’s a bit of a scary thought knowing I’ve been home for three months already. I’m looking forward to going back, having my own room, space, and seeing friends again. I’m even looking forward to starting classes and writing papers- call me a nerd.

With that being said, I know right when I leave, I’ll be missing home and wishing I could be back again. I guess that’s how life works. We always want what we can’t have. Places we’ve been to, people we’ve met, friends that we thought would be life long friends, time spent with friends we wish we could spend again. Ahhh… I’m getting sentimental. Moving on.

Traveling and seeing the world is one of the best things ever, but the more you do it and the more friends you make in each place, the less clear you are with the question: “where’s home?” Each place you travel to or live in, you leave a piece of your heart and soul there. When you do think about that experience you had, your heart aches a little wishing you could be right where you were.

Can you imagine if we instantly traveled to that particular place and experience we think of in our minds? We’d be constantly moving all over the world, or even all the city/state (if it doesn’t consist of traveling). Maybe one has to be good at keeping a distance and creating a barrier between the people you meet and yourself in order to not feel too down once it’s gone. But then again, where’s the true self within that?

There goes my random musings for the insomniac night.

He could’ve died…

I wanted to write about this yesterday but I didn’t get a chance to after this incident. I had just gotten off work and had arrived in Central. It was about 5pm. When I was heading out of the MTR, I was minding my own business with my earphones on. Suddenly I looked up towards the escalators and saw a head fall and disappear in the blink of an eye. First reaction, I took off one side of my ear phones and ran towards the escalators.

“He’s drunk he’s drunk. Are you okay?” I hear two ladies saying in Cantonese. One was an elder lady above 60 and the other in her 40s. I ran up the escalators as fast as I could and said I’m here. Next to them was a Caucasian man, perhaps in his 50s who had fallen face first downwards towards the bottom of the escalator that was going upwards. Thankfully, he had used his hands as protection, but his hands were bleeding from the metal corners. The younger lady and I helped him up and he was thankful. Although he was clearly wasted with a distinct alcoholic odor surrounding him.

As he got up holding my hand on one side, I asked: “A little too much to drink?” He avoided my eyes, gave out a deep sigh and dropped his head on my shoulder. I knew to ask nothing more. I looked at his hands that were holding mine, they were bleeding and looked painful- but I’m sure he felt nothing. I looked at his stain fill-ed shirt and jeans that were torn at the knees. He looked broken, physically and mentally.

My heart was beating as if I had just ran a marathon. Sure, some might say this happens all the time in Lan Kwai Fong and Soho but nevertheless, it seemed different when anything could have happened to him. So many thoughts were spinning in my head, did he lose his job? Did he lose his family? Was he celebrating Spain’s victory in the world cup? I guess I’ll never know and it’s not my place to know either. Sometimes all you can do lend him a hand and a shoulder for the time being.

Here’s the strange coincidence that I believe God had planned. When this whole incident happened, the song “Tonight I wanna Cry” by Keith Urban had just started playing. As I lifted him up to his feet, the chorus of the song sang:

I’ve never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein’ strong meant never losin’ your self-control
But I’m just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

He stood there for a while after getting off the escalators, then slowly stumbled away. I watched him for a few seconds unsure of what to do, then decided to go on with my day. As I walked away, the song continued playing. I kept wondering whether I should’ve got him some water, or sat down to talk to him but by that time, the security guards had already gotten a hold of him.

I guess I did all I could, and I’ll let God do the rest.

I woke up this morning, looked out the window and there was a gorgeous blue sky accompanied by a huge cloud. I looked closer, and at first it looked like a dog. Then I decided it looked like a dinosaur. It was pretty awesome. One wonders whether it symbolizes anything…

I’m not sure who still reads this, but here it is anyways. I’ve been really slacking in writing and updating. I am on the computer almost all day at work, and when I come home, I get back on the computer hoping to do something more productive. But nothing ever happens.

A month and a half of summer has come and gone. I haven’t done much, I started working shortly after I came back and since then, I’ve spent a lot of time with my family and at work- only going out with friends once in a while. I’ve also been watching the world cup a lot which has been good. I’ve never been a big football player but being the athlete I am, it’s always super exciting to watch and analyze games (in my head). I have one more month of work, then I’m off for a month before heading back to the states.

I can only imagine the beautiful weather in Boston right now and although I am loving home at the moment. I am looking forward to going back, setting up my room, reconnecting with friends and starting another year. Most of my classes should be pretty interesting next semester. To be honest though, the thought of starting another year also brings about the thought of what I want to or will do in the future, it’s all a bit crazy.

Just less than a month ago, Nick Vujicic spoke at my church here. Nick was born with no arms and no legs, but yet he believes that it was God’s plan. It was absolutely incredible. He spoke for about 30 minutes, and it hit straight to my heart. His joy and his commitment to serve God is more than I’ve ever had. Sometimes we all need to be reminded that no matter how bad our situations might be, there is always joy in God.

I’m currently thinking about food and putting on a movie, most likely re-watch Iron Man so I can go to the theaters in the next few days and finally watch Iron Man 2; even if that means watching it by myself because everyone has already seen it. In other words, I could easily procrastinate writing this post even more so I will sacrifice food and the movie, for a little while.

I have wanted to write since this past weekend, but I have again, been procrastinating. So here is my reasons for finally updating: I needed to or else I would never do it, and most importantly, my dad emailed me and said I should because I am now in Hong Kong and my last post was in April. Yup, that was exactly what he said. Hi dad! (Happy Birthday, May 25th, June 25th, wait… every day is your birthday.)

If you read the above paragraph carefully, you would already know that I am back in Hong Kong now. If you didn’t, well go back and read it! I came back home just over two weeks ago now and it’s definitely been busy. Just a day after I got back, one of my best friends from college flew over from Turkey to visit for 10 days. It was a busy week, we went everywhere in Hong Kong including places I have never been to. Which was, to be honest, a bit embarrassing and frustrating considering I was the host but I got over it. It was good fun, we probably slept on average 4 or 5 hours a night for over a week. Anyhow, it was good fun and it was great showing her my life here.

On another note, I started work this past Monday so I have been out of the house by 7 in the morning and not getting back till past 7 in the evening. Sounds tiring, and it is but I have been enjoying it. I haven’t done much in the evenings which is also really nice. I’ve been watching lots of NBA and getting inspired to practice and play again, not play on a team but just for fun. The four teams in the NBA playoffs are definitely playing well and showing some tough plays. Keep it up.

Alright I’m going to eat dinner, and do something. I’ll write soon.