It’s almost 4 in the morning and I am still awake. I didn’t go out or have anything productive to do. I tried to go to bed by 2am because I have to wake up at 10am but could not fall asleep. Maybe it’s the tea, or now that I think about it… maybe it’s the change of environment again. I have slept on a thin mattress the last month in an empty apartment, and tonight I moved back to my original home in Hong Kong. You’d think I’d be able to sleep on my soft awesome bed again but that’s not the case.
I’m still in the living room on a mattress, a thicker one this time. My eyes feel drowsy but once I turn off my computer and lay down, they’d be wide open again. I’ve got just over a month till I go back to the United States, first New York then Boston. It’s a bit of a scary thought knowing I’ve been home for three months already. I’m looking forward to going back, having my own room, space, and seeing friends again. I’m even looking forward to starting classes and writing papers- call me a nerd.
With that being said, I know right when I leave, I’ll be missing home and wishing I could be back again. I guess that’s how life works. We always want what we can’t have. Places we’ve been to, people we’ve met, friends that we thought would be life long friends, time spent with friends we wish we could spend again. Ahhh… I’m getting sentimental. Moving on.
Traveling and seeing the world is one of the best things ever, but the more you do it and the more friends you make in each place, the less clear you are with the question: “where’s home?” Each place you travel to or live in, you leave a piece of your heart and soul there. When you do think about that experience you had, your heart aches a little wishing you could be right where you were.
Can you imagine if we instantly traveled to that particular place and experience we think of in our minds? We’d be constantly moving all over the world, or even all the city/state (if it doesn’t consist of traveling). Maybe one has to be good at keeping a distance and creating a barrier between the people you meet and yourself in order to not feel too down once it’s gone. But then again, where’s the true self within that?
There goes my random musings for the insomniac night.
Joanne Lam 