Joanne Lam

Our very own psychological immune system

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF0PWTgfeXQ#t=294

I thought I had watched all the TED talks on happiness, but I seem to have missed out on one important one: Dan Gilberts: The Surprising Science of Happiness, also hosted on TED radio hour on NPR.

It’s a very fruitful time personally to hear about Dan’s data and conclusions about synthetic happiness. Giblert talks about our psychological immune system: cognitive processes that help us change our views about the world so we can feel better about the world.

“We synthesize happiness but we think happiness is a thing to be found,” he says. We tend to have expectations of things that should happen, what we should be doing, or how we should be acting- and when those expectations go array- that’s when our happiness level drops. It’s hard to explain the disappointment when such an emotion occurs, but it’s easy to makes sure to let everyone know that we are upset. That, in itself, is frustrating to me – and something I need to work on.

Gilbert continues to use data to show that the more freedom we have to choose and to make up our mind and change our mind is the enemy of synthetic happiness, because no matter what we choose, we will be dissatisfied with our choices. We will always be left wondering whether the other choice is the better one.

The problem with having FOMO (The Fear Of Missing Out) is that I tend to leave myself open to all of my options for things to do, things to eat, and what I want to do- what continues is a long struggle and battle in my mind about what to do- and as Professor Gilbert said, I tend to be dissatisfied with whatever I choose. Or I am left utterly lost, confused, and unable to explain why I was feeling the heavy emotions I was feeling to anyone that asked.

It’s a weird thought to think about. Definitely something to keep in mind every time I make a decision. And when something doesn’t go as expected, I need to train my brain to remember the psychological immune system, and how we have the ability to change our perspective, and how we look at the given situation.

I debated, I chose, and I believe

In the past few weeks, I’ve had multiple conversations about the difference between graduate school and undergraduate school. One conversation I had in particular was a strong discussion with a classmate of mine in which she insisted that graduate school was no different than undergrad, that the work load was about the same, and emotionally, she felt the same as she did a few years ago.

At first, I strongly disagreed- but on second thought, I realized that sure, in terms of work load, it wasn’t too far off and plus, with only one class a week, we had plenty of time to finish our assignments if we managed our time well. I then realized where we differences laid:

Attending graduate school is not suppose to be academic driven (unless you’re in fields such as law, medicine, or anything science or math related), it’s a higher-level education, much more driven by your own personal motivation, what your goals are in a few years, and how you are going to achieve that with the assistance and knowledge from being a so-called “master’s student”.

With all this free time in my hand, I can easily pass my classes with flying colors, graduate, and move on to the next thing but then again, I’m not sure how many of these classes are really going to get me a job in the hospitality industry.

It’s an industry unlike others, it’s structured for employees to start from the ground up and work their way through different departments in their career. Whether or not a graduate degree for hospitality was necessary was a major decision in my application to school. After much debate, I chose school, as you all know- and it was a great decision.

“Hospitality degrees are still new concepts in an industry that’s traditionally made employees work their way up the totem pole to senior management positions. Still, some employees pursue graduate education with hopes that it will make them stand out from the pack.”
– Dan Peltier published a recent article on Skift
“The Double-Edged Sword of the Hospitality Graduate Degree Debate”

I highly agree that the most effective and successful employees are those that have experienced different departments, working their way up, through various departments- but I also believe that having the experience of higher-level education along side this experience will increase one’s chances of success.

Sure, hotel companies may not necessarily embrace graduate education for what it is, but I believe that if we, as students – start to use graduate school as a resource to learn more knowledge about the industry through not only classes, but also in personal research with our access to the extensive database, begin to reach out to professors, other students who may be already in the industry, alumni network, and outside industry professionals – we can begin to fully value what it means to have a Hospitality Graduate Degree.

At the end of the day, it comes down what you do with what you have, how you use your resources to benefit your education and career, setting short and long term goals and most importantly, especially in the hospitality industry, building connections wherever you go. The industry, and the world, are very interconnected. You never know how an impression you made a few years ago can make or break you in the future.

Grad school is no joke

It’s been one wild roller coaster the last couple months, but the last few weeks I finally feel settled- and feel as though I have a vision for my future. As most of you know, I began my Masters program at the Collins College of Hospitality recently. It’s a two year program, one of the best programs in the West Coast. We have incredible professors who have worked in the industry for years all around the world.

I apologize for not writing sooner, it’s been a challenge figuring out how to do grad school, and the quarter system for that matter. Now I thoroughly understand why my friends who were in quarter systems were so busy at any point in time during the year. Each quarter/class is 10 weeks, so by the time you get into the swing of things (week 3 or 4), midterms are right around the corner. So, take that, then imagine having over 10 different assignments due per week with majority of those writing assignments. It’s quite time-consuming.

With that being said, I’ve been having a blast. Ask me in a few weeks and I may have a different answer in the midst of stress but I needed to make sure to tell you all about how grateful I am and happy I am to be where I’m at. (Especially if I get down in a few weeks, I can always look back to this post and remind myself of my positivity.) As a writer, it’s important to recall how I felt at a certain time. It gives us perspective when we don’t have any due to emotions.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I have a goal. My face glows as I ask questions, learn and talk to classmates who have more experience than me. Their passion for the industry inspires and encourages me to learn even more. These classmates may be my future colleagues. They will certainly be my contacts as we disperse into the real world in two years. Classes will be hard, assignments will be a huge challenge, especially for someone who does not have enough experience in the industry, but I know with supporting professors and staff at the program, classmates to endure the work together, and friends in LA to keep me sane- it’ll be a great two years.

Follow me on Social Media

Moving forward, I hope to be able to write more, as I always mention- but please follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/stucklikeapincushion for travel related articles, short updates, and fun photos as I continue on this adventure of life.

Please also follow me on Instagram as I capture every day moments I find meaningful: @jo_lam

I’ve also decided to create a hashtag for things I post related to travel, hospitality, and this blog. As you could probably guess, the hashtag is #StuckLikeAPincushion

Let’s get this party started!

LA birthday: The FOOD edition

Last year when I came out to LA for the week, my friends hosted a house party for my birthday. It got crazy, got loud, got late, and everyone had a great time. I knew I had to return.

This year, just as I promised myself, I returned to LA with a one way ticket just a few weeks before my birthday- settled into my new home for the next two years in Pomona. Because I was so busy settling in, I didn’t have too much time to plan my birthday. Nonetheless, it was another incredible weekend. Instead of boring you about what I did- I decided I will show you some of the food that I ate.

And if you live in LA, you better check these restaurants out ASAP. By the end of this post, I promise you’ll be drooling wishing you could hop in an Uber and go eat there now.

Kabuki Japanese Restaurant (Hollywood, CA)

Located a quick walk from Arclight Cinemas in Hollywood, Kabuki doesn’t disappoint. Sapporo draft was just a few dollars, the perfect combination along with all of the delicious mouth watering food we got. It’s a little on the pricy end, but it’s totally worth it. Everything is going to look so good you’ll want to order a ton, but rest assure, you probably won’t be able to finish it- so if you’re smart- I’d recommend ordering less and if you’re still hungry- then go for more!

(1) Shishito Peppers
(2) Spicy Tuna on Crispy Rice
(3) Lotus on Fire Roll
(4) Hamachi Sake Box Sushi
(5) Albacore Crunch Roll

The day before my birthday, my friends took me out to a Pop up brunch location in Downtown LA. After being lead through what seems like a normal restaurant, we arrived to the back area of The Gorbals (DTLA) where many are brunch-ing with endless Mimosas, the only way to do brunch.

The Gorbals (Downtown Los Angeles)

Every dish was uniquely created by Chef Kris Morningstar. Again, It may be a bit more on the pricy side, but if you’re looking to splurge on a once-in-a-lifetime brunch experience- make sure you check out The Gorbals. I know I’ll definitely be going back in the future.

(1) Shrimp & Corn Pancake (OMG) That is all I have to say. It’s like scallion pancakes, except with shrimp & corn.
(2) Breakfast Ramen – don’t be fooled by the ordinary name. This could possibly be the best breakfast Ramen you’ll ever have had….

(3) French toast that is to die for.
(4) Gravlax – salmon, and other condiments to accompany the salmon on toast. Wonderful and light.

The Perch (DTLA)

On the day of my birthday- after a night of drinking, my boyfriend took me to a wonderful rooftop restaurant for brunch. The first time we went to Perch was for the 20s themed halloween party. What an experience that was! But this time, although we still had to make a reservation, it was not quite as crowded. We got the perfect seat outdoors by the fireplace with a beautiful view surrounded by sky scrapers. (Side note: It still doesn’t compare to any Hong Kong sky scrapers… but it’s the closest I can get to feeling like home!) Nonetheless, it was so wonderful.

(1) Shrimp Scampi – who knew this could be a brunch dish? Delicious.
(2) Smoked Salmon Benedict – this cannot ever, ever, go wrong. We love salmon.

Quickly (Chinatown, LA)

Finally, I went to Chinatown for a taste of home. Fishballs, Tea eggs, Taiwanese sausage rice bowl. It may not be everyone’s favorite but it was an important moment of my birthday. A friend asked me the night before, “what would I have done if I was celebrating my birthday in Hong Kong?”

That’s a good question, but for one, I know that I’ll be indulging in a whole lot of food while soaking in the beautiful place I call home.

I am drooling already recapping everything I ate on my birthday, I guess it’s time for me to get some dinner. But seriously though, go check out these places in and around Los Angeles. They are worth a visit.

I guess it’s called growing up.

I have gone through a whirl wind of emotions the last two weeks. From leaving Toronto, packing up 5 years worth of personal possession in Boston, saying goodbye to my friends and the city of Boston, to setting up my new life in California- including furniture shopping and leasing a car. I’m not quite sure how to process everything, but I do know that this is one of the biggest transitions of my life- and my emotions are definitely a reflection of that.

Let me start with my brief return to Boston- I had less than a week to pack and see friends. For those who know me well, you’ll know that I have various communities of friends in Boston and if I were to see every one of them, I would never have a minute to myself. Unfortunately, my situation didn’t allow me to see everyone but I thoroughly cherished the moments I got to spend with those I saw.

It took me down memory lane starting from 5 years ago when I first started at Emerson College as a freshmen. Ask me what I wanted to do with my career back then? I probably would’ve laughed at you. I had no idea- which could explain my eagerness to study communication. It’s a great skill but not necessary the most practical major to graduate with in this time and age.

With that being said, two years ago, I blindly applied for an internship with a hostel and it’s changed my direction for my career. Aside from learning an immense amount about hospitality and customer service, it’s also planted a seed in me for hospitality. The few days I visited Boston as I caught up with my friends and old coworkers, I found myself in awe of the passion I have as I talked about the hospitality industry. It was very rejuvenating and refreshing to know that I am going in the right path, that for the first time in quite a few years – I am starting to form a vague road map for myself.

Flying into LAX was a very surreal experience. After delays on both my flights and a total of 12 hours of travel, I finally arrived without a return ticket. My life was about to change, but what I didn’t predict was the roller coaster of emotions that I’d go through in the next week.

Moving anywhere requires a lot of investment, financial and emotional but when you’re a city girl moving to Los Angeles, a city where everything is incredibly spread out, all those investments seem to triple. Who knew Ikea, Walmart, Target, and Trader Joes could be so emotionally draining? Buying anything from a bed frame to kitchen knives, they’re all so important but sometimes all I wanted to do was dig myself a hole and climb in.

The emotional roller coaster climbed to the top and was about to fall into huge drop when I realized biking to and from school was not feasible. The image of myself carrying a huge backpack on a bike, going for 30 minutes partly through highway underpasses, and a large part uphill, terrified the shit out of me. Excuse my language.

I’ve hitch hiked in Amsterdam, I’ve missed my flights, I’ve crashed on a motorcycle, I’ve experienced a lot from decisions that were adventurous but not the smartest — and yet, here I am, feeling the most terrified I’ve ever been in my whole life. My head was spinning with images of myself falling off the bike, rolling down a hill, or worse of all, just giving up and sitting on the side of the road panting with terror. My heart was beating as if I’ve just ran a marathon. It was very uncomfortable, but I kept telling myself it’s all part of the transition and adjusting to change.

What came next was long, tedious and a wake up call:

Spending over 8 hours in the car dealership negotiating, waiting, and finally driving off with a car that is my responsibility for the next three years.

Perhaps I’m the only one that was having such a large emotional crisis in this situation, but let me tell you, when you never grew up with a car culture, know nothing about cars, and only acquired your license recently– having to make a decision on what car would be best for me — is not the most pleasant experience.

But it was growing up.

I was growing up fast. I was being forced to learn, and take responsibilities I wasn’t ready to.

It was just what I needed, and to be frank, part of the reason why I knew I needed to come out here to a world unknown and unfamiliar to me. I knew myself well enough that if I didn’t submerse myself into discomfort, I’d never learn the way I did yesterday.

I cannot thank my family enough for the continuous support. They didn’t have to let me continue studying, move to LA where I’d have to invest in a lot financially, and more importantly, they could’ve saved me the emotional crisis if they had made it a requirement to move home. I’m the baby in the family, and I feel like I’m finally starting to grow up in a way I have never felt before.

It’s very uncomfortable but the best adventures in my life have always been through times of discomfort.