Joanne Lam

Hang on to the beauty

I’ve been in San Francisco for just over a week now, and it’s definitely been an experience and a different change of pace for me. I’ve been in a mix of emotions from excitement to frustration to embracing the unknown and the adventure. That’s just all a part of being somewhere new.

I pride myself of loving everywhere I go, or embracing adventures of all forms, but sometimes all you want is some familiarity in the midst of all the frustration. I remember coming to SF about two years ago, and not quite enjoying it as much as I thought I would. But this time, I told myself it’d be different. I’d be working, meeting people every day, and I’ll see SF from a different light. Perhaps it’s still too early on to really make an opinion on the city, but you know how sometimes you just know how you feel about a place? A gut reaction you may call it. My gut reaction to SF and to my new life here for the next 6 weeks aren’t the hottest, but nonetheless, I’m incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to live here and explore- even for a short period of time.

Yesterday, I went on a day tour with The Flying Marmot Tours to Northern California, including the Sonoma Valley. We hiked Mount Tamalpais, wine tasted in Sonoma Valley, and simply explored the beauty of the coast. Mount Tamalpais is a fairly close drive from SF and is a hidden gem. The best place to see the fog from above that’s normally covering up the Golden Gate bridge.

The photo above is taken in Sonoma Valley in Goat Rock Beach. The view is absolutely stunning especially with the sun setting and reflecting off the waters. Despite the windiness, I could’ve sat out there just staring into the ocean hours. Ideally, with a hand to hold and a body to keep me warm observing the personalities of the waves- each unique from each other- crashing into the rocks and retreating back into sea.

I imagined myself as a wave, just strolling along the sea day by day- crashing up onto shore, welcoming strangers to come into my life and hopefully giving them the best time of their lives during our brief interactions. Then sometimes before we get to shore, we get distracted by a really large rock and I can’t help but crash hard. I have no idea how waves feel, but in imagining myself as a wave, all I’d want to do is leave that beach and head to the next cove- but sometimes you just have to keep at it.

You have to keep moving towards shore, through the big rocks that get in the way. If only you’re moving for the people waiting at shore, the people who are waiting for that rush of love to come crashing in, the people who see your beauty even when you can’t see it yourself. When I look out at Goat Rock Beach from above, I remember to hang on to the wonders of giant rocks, the magic of waves, and the beauty of low moments.

The Power of Random Connections

“I believe that life is chaotic, a jumble of accidents, ambitions, misconceptions, bold intentions, lazy happenstances, and unintended consequences, yet I also believe that there are connections that illuminate our world, revealing its endless mystery and wonder.” – David Moranis

This week, I’m frantically trying to finish a few papers for the end of the first year in the Masters Program but writing this blog post is also on the top of my to-do-list. It’s a special post for my incredibly special weekend in San Diego. There are three separate parts to this story in which I will explain further.

Part 1:

About 6 months ago, I went to Santa Barbara for a quidditch tournament. The night before the tournament, I headed out to by myself to have a relaxing night of reading and for dinner. If you’re a frequent follower of my adventures, you may remember this post as The Layover in Santa Barbara from my post in November. You may want to read that first before continuing on in this post. If not, I’ll give you a short recap:

During dinner that night, a wonderful couple sitting at the table next to me started up a conversation with me over a cup of cappuccino. They live on a sail boat, and were traveling from the North to their final destination- Mexico. Three hours of incredible conversations later, we exchanged contacts and parted ways.

Since then, we’ve been in touch through email here and there but this past week, they reached out and said they were still docked in San Diego! So of course, I had to go see them.

We spent the afternoon on their beautiful boat, Stacy and Robert prepared a delicious healthy lunch and we simply chatted for a few hours. We exchanged travel stories, had discussions about cultures, and were left in awe with the reunion. Boat living is a whole different world, they have a strong community at that specific dock with the people they’ve met on other boats and they’re constantly in touch with other people they’ve met on their journey. I felt honored to be one of the lucky passerby’s they have kept in contact with.

Throughout the afternoon, I gazed out at the skyline of San Diego downtown whilst listening to the music of the oceans waves, and wondered: “how did I get there?”

Part 2:

Later that afternoon, I got in my car and drove to Green Flash Brewing Company for my next adventure for the day. I was meeting with my 6th grade teacher from Hong Kong.

It has been 13 years since I’ve seen my teacher. He was a veteran teacher at HKIS having taught for 18 years. Thankfully, I was his student during his final year in Hong Kong. He was my homeroom as well as science teacher.

Mr. Wetjen has always left a powerful impression in my HKIS education. He was funny, kind, caring, and loving. Middle school is a strange time for most kids- an age in which we were trying to discover our morals, passions and personality in the midst of high social pressures. But I always felt comfortable in Mr. Wetjen’s classroom and I definitely was sad going on to 7th grade knowing that he wouldn’t be around for me to reach out to anymore. Fun Fact: he had two class birds we would see every day. When he left, a close friend and I each took one. I can’t express what my feelings were at that time, but I’m sure I took Kenny- the bird- as a memory to him.

13 years later, after reconnecting on Facebook as many do, and following updates every couple months on our lives- I realized he lived in San Diego! So of course, I had to see him. We spent over three hours conversing, laughing, and reminiscing over delicious craft beers. It was incredibly surreal. He had the same energy and the same curiosity for life as I remembered him to have.

Three hours of chatting and a few beers later, I’m proud to say- we were closing out the brewery for the night. Talking to him now, for obvious reasons, is different than 6th grade Joanne talking to him but I felt just as comfortable as I did in the past. It was like nothing has changed.

I’m one that has always believed in the power of teachers in students lives. I’m in contact with many of my teachers growing up, and I know that throughout our lives, we will see each other again. We spend so much time during our teenage years at school, bringing frustration for our teachers when we don’t listen or don’t finish our homework- and yet, they still come to work day in and day out because they want to see us succeed and grow into influential individuals making a difference in the world.

I know for certain that Mr. Wetjen have left a powerful impact on hundreds of his past students the same way he impacted me. And he continues to do so with his many current students. Those shared connections and experiences from Hong Kong- no matter where we are in the world now, or what we’re doing, will always bring us back together.

Intermission: I stayed in Hostelling International Point Loma in San Diego Saturday night. It was my first time there, and it definitely did not disappoint. Located in a quaint neighborhood, they serve pancakes every morning for breakfast and offer free coffee/tea all day. The hostel is very clean, beds are incredible comfortable, and they even have a hammock for those always necessary lounging moments.

HI-Point Loma was the perfect spot to spend Sunday morning relaxing and writing whilst guests played ping pong (to the left of the photo), some sat by the fire pit (middle of the photo) and read on the hammock (to the right of the photo).

Part 3:

Finally, the last part of my powerful weekend of connections ended with going to a Tahitian family reunion. I have no photos of this particular event but it was a large dinner with more than 30 attendees to celebrate two big birthdays- 40 and 70 years old. I connected with the mother of this big family through my mother a few weeks ago in another family friends wedding. Merely minutes after we met, I was invited to this family reunion because in her words, “I am family now!” A month ago, I had never met anyone from Tahiti- and now I was surrounded by a whole family of individuals who grew up there. To me, that was very special.

Aside from trying to understand French all night, the great food and conversations with all these people I had just met, it was an emotional night for me. The family had four kids, and 8 grandkids- with the 9th on its way in a few months. Being apart of this dinner, watching the kids interact with one another, with their uncles and aunts and family friends- made me emotionally nostalgic for my own extended family in Toronto.

These large dinners can be quite overwhelming and exhausting by the end of the night with the overstimulating of things happening but moreover, it’s incredibly inspiring to witness a family’s love for one another- and for them to extend the same love to someone who they’ve just met – aka me. I only hope that I can build a life and family that will extend the same kindness to the world, a family that will build friendships and relationships on the bases of love.

With that said, I better get back to the grind of finals. For now, I urge you all to step out of your comfort zone, perhaps chat up some strangers next to you at the dinner table or at the bar, reach out to your old teachers- take them out for beers to get to really know them as an individual, and lastly, say yes. Say yes to new adventures, say yes to events even if you don’t know anyone, and say yes if it means building a new connection.

The grass is always greener on the other side, or so they say

“Growing up is losing some illusions, in order to acquire others.”
– Virginia Woolf

What I’m about to say this post may not be the same experience every child has had but I don’t doubt that on some level, you’ve felt the same way. Growing up with an older brother that’s seven years older, I’ve always looked up to his adventures- and I certainly still do. I wished I was old enough to drink, I wished I was old enough to enjoy certain experiences the way my brother and his friends did. We were constrained, as we should’ve been, to doing certain things and sometimes that was really frustrating. In short, I wanted to grow up and gain that freedom I’ve always dreamed of.

Now that I’m older (note I did not say I’m grown up), I’ve acquired that freedom to drink, to choose adventures to go on, and to make my own decisions in every day life. It’s brilliant. Despite having my ID checked on a regular basis from looking like a teenager still, it feels great to be able to sit down with my family and wine taste together. Our first stop in Napa Valley was a $30 tasting at the beautiful Duckhorn Vineyard. The wines were delicious, and the atmosphere indescribable. Surrounded by grape vines, mountains, and tipsy customers all sipping on their reds, I felt very fortunate to be alive.

My brother’s childhood friend and his family also joined us for the wonderful afternoon. They had a son who is nearly three years old. Half Japanese and Half Chinese, he may be one of the most adorable kids I’ve interacted with in recent memory. His activeness and curiosity was easily absorbed by anyone he came into contact with.

Being with children always begs the question, what was I like as a child? Did I have as much curiosity and charm as he did? What was my imagination like? What was it like to see the world through the eyes of a three year old?

As I face the challenges of today personally and learn about the injustice and inequalities of the world, the thought of being a child again seems rather attractive sometimes. I guess that’s why they say ignorance is bliss. Watching Kiyo explore the world around him with such inquisitive eyes is admirable.

With that being said, being three again is not an option, nor do I really want to but being around kids- reminds me of the need to be adventurous, playful, brave and to never lose the curiosity for life and all its experiences. Childhood is simply a moment in the past, but the child-like attitude is always present if you let it.

At the end of the day, I’m in a better position now. I’ve got the freedom to wine taste with my family, I’m learning more about the world and all its complexity every day through a variety of lenses, and with a combination of years of knowledge and child-like curiosity- embark on adventures with an outlook unique to who I am today.

A mini San Diego getaway

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” – Cesare Pavese

This past two weeks have been absolutely bonkers, with reaching the Final Fours with my quidditch team at the Quidditch World Cup (out of 80 teams), to spending time with my family all around Southern California.

Despite the lack of free time to do too much aside from research and writing for school, it’s been a blast exploring Southern California with my parents. We spent a few days in San Diego this week, stopping by to visit Newport Beach and Laguna beach before coming home. They were all absolutely stunning, resort like, relaxing areas.

It was nice to be one with nature for those brief moments by the ocean. To hear the waves crash into the rocks, to witness seals snuggling up to one another, and birds flying in synchronization- is not something I have time to listen to on a daily basis.

With that said, there was still something missing. I miss the discomfort, the uncertainty, and being constantly off balance- the feeling I get when I travel alone – or to a distant place where I have to force myself to be uncomfortable.

There are different types of traveling, and 5 different typology of tourists according to Eric Cohen, a researcher who categorized through research different types of tourist. I am in the process of learning more about it, but from the journals I briefly read about these typologies- I have been more aware of the people around me and what type of tourists they are.

Depending on their initial expectations and goals, affect the satisfaction outcome of the trip. It also affects how one may be more or less inclined to be flexible. As I dream about my future trips, I am aware of this correlation and want to make sure I have the right mindset before jetsetting.

The next trip that will really put me out of my comfort zone will be in August. I’ll be heading to Costa Rica with my graduate program for a 4 week study abroad program. Being my first time in Central America, I’m absolutely ecstatic to learn the language, the culture, and to explore.

Calm before the storm

The next month or so will be a whirlwind of events, from Quidditch World Cup in Rockhill, SC this weekend to one of my best friends from home visiting- to my parents being in town- to doing a bit of traveling here and there. No doubt I’m a little worried about making sure I’m balanced with school, research, social and most importantly- time to myself.

As most of you know, I’m incredibly social and love being around people- a total extrovert. With that said, I’ve learned over time that as much as an extrovert as I am, I am still capable of being burnt out. I still need that time alone to meditate, to gather my thoughts in hopes of being a better student, better daughter and a better friend. Without that time to myself, I can become easily frustrated. The stress builds up, and it gets the best of me.

It got the best of me tonight, and the storm hasn’t even begun. With thoughts bouncing left and right in my mind, I have to take a step back and consciously remind myself that whatever I’m frustrated with is only for the moment. The trouble may float above water again, but till then, the moment is over and all I can do is look forward with a smile.

Easier said than done, but writing it out while jamming on some smooth Soundcloud tracks is much better than feeling the frustration cooped up inside me.

I write not only for myself, but in hopes that you, my dear reader, may also remember to take care of you, your soul and your mind in the midst of your busy schedule. In our pressured, anxiety-prone, busy-ness driven society, the easiest way to fall into the trap of burn out is to lose sight of the care that you need.