Being vulnerable is an interesting thing, because I’ve realized that it’s one of the biggest indicators of a good friendship or relationship. When we’re happy, we can be with everyone, do anything and impact hundreds of people with our positive energy but when we’re not in a good state of mind, we tend to keep to ourselves and hope that we’ll eventually feel better.
And I’ll be the first person to attest to that behavior. In contrast with my normal incredibly outgoing self, when I am struggling with personal problems or just simply feeling down on a certain day, I don’t like being around people because of the negative energy I’ll bring- or perhaps deep down I’m afraid of what they’ll think of me once they are exposed to that side of my personality. It’s only fair to want to only bring positive energy to the world and to keep our self-image the way we want people to see it.
But the older I get, the problems tend to last longer and get more complicated. It’s not about teenage drama or forgetting to hand in homework, it starts to become more about adulthood, dealing with problems in the work place or even trying to find a career path. Those aren’t problems that will go away within days, weeks or sometimes even months. Sometimes, they linger at the back of your head causing a black cloud to loom over everything you do. During times like that, it’s next to impossible to bottle it up and try to deal with the emotions alone. We, as humans, were made to be a community. We were made to go through things together and it’s times of vulnerability when you really find the need to seek people who will allow you to feel those emotions in your own terms.
Showing our vulnerable side is scary, it’s opening up our hearts and emotion to putting it on someone else. It could become a baggage of some sort for the person we’ve shared it with. But it’s times like these where you really figure out who your closest friends are, who you feel the most comfortable with and who you trust to carry this baggage with you. They will see the real you, when stripped down bare of all the greatness in life, how much pain and hurt that each and every one of us are able to feel.
With that, instead of trying to stand up alone with heavy baggages on your shoulders, you have help and support from these certain people you chose to be vulnerable with. In the end, the weigh of the load is always lighter when distributed through multiple channels. These friends thus become very real, friends who are willing to selflessly take on part of your hurt and fight the battle together, even when it may not be a battle he/she has to fight.
Who in your life are you comfortable being vulnerable with? Next time you’re feeling down, find someone you trust to share the pain with, and trust me, even if you feel bad about being that negative energy, you will feel better.
Unless of course, that person doesn’t really care how you feel…. then maybe you need to reconsider that friendship.
Joanne Lam 