Remember that time of your life when all you wanted to listen to was “Welcome to My Life” and “Perfect” by Simple Plan because you felt very connected to the lyrics? Remember when you hid in your room or closed your eyes in the shower and yelled at the top of your lungs the following line…
no you don’t know what its like, when nothing feels alright, you don’t know what its like, to be like me…
No? Okay, maybe it was just me, but boy oh boy was I an antsy teen. My friend Tyler would agree without hesitation. We definitely had this conversation merely two weeks ago while I updated him on my wonderful family life right now.
This past Saturday, I stayed in after dinner and decided to set up my movie system, plugged in my computer to the TV, my surround sound speakers, sit back and watch a movie as I fall asleep. After going through my movie list on my hard drive, I decided to go for a Pixar film.
Finding Nemo (2003) is one of those films where when friends and I talk about it, I’ll always end up saying “I haven’t seen that film in so long, it’s one of my favorites.”
That time finally came. Granted, I only watched about a quarter of the film but it was still very moving. Does anyone recognize that scene from the photo?
Marlin: You know what? I was right. We’ll start school in a year or two.
Nemo: No, Dad! Just because you’re scared of the ocean…
Marlin: Clearly, you’re not ready, and you’re not coming back until you are. You think you can do these things, but you just can’t, Nemo!
Nemo: [pause, mutters] I hate you. (IMDB)
This scene really speaks to me. It brings back so many memories. I was such an angry, frustrated, rebellious child who would lock myself in the room and shut down when my parents tried to speak to me. I ate dinner in 5 minutes and headed straight to my bedroom. I’d do whatever I want and as soon as I failed, I was very disappointed in myself but I’d never let it show… or at least I didn’t think I did.
I guess most of us go through the stage in some way or another. I do sincerely apologize for the way I acted that disappointed any family or friends during that stage of my life, but to be honest, if I could turn back time- I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I grew from those experiences, I struggled and put myself in situations which required maturity. If I had listened and followed all the dos & don’ts perfectly, I would not be as adventurous, courageous and most importantly, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with God.
As I look back at my journey the past 10 years plus years since my beginning of my teenage years, I can trace God’s hand in the various things that happened which lead to a change in my heart. I can even trace God’s hand in using my life to influence others around me. I’ll admit I still have days where I want to lock myself in and blast ‘Welcome to My Life’ again, days where I don’t feel God anywhere near, but it’s those days where I remind myself to look back at my past and remember God’s omnipresence and faithfulness.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
[ Hebrews 12:11 ]
Joanne Lam 