no running from You

Your great love is higher than the heavens
Your great love is stronger than the seas
Your great love is bigger than universe we see
And still, your love, your love is for me

The Vine recording was a success and very enjoyable. God’s presence was with us and definitely allowed many of us to give outrageously. Now as I sit at home in front of my computer, I feel tears coming down my face as I listen to these songs over and over again.

During one of the songs tonight, I dropped down to my knees and didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t sing, and it was hard to talk to God. It was like there was a wall between God and I that I couldn’t break down. I looked down on the floor for a while and closed my eyes listening to the music playing. I suddenly felt a hand on my back, and at the same time, tears started to drop down my face. Two of my good friends dropped down on their knees next to me and one of them started praying for me. Tears couldn’t help but fall down my face, I wanted to run to God and let him restore me.

One of the many things I thought about tonight was why sometimes many of us fall away from God or won’t let ourselves to God. The fear of the unknown. It means to take ourselves out and away from our comfort zone and trust in something we might or might not know much about. It’s a scary thought. God telling us to follow him is like when a friend asks us to do something and we automatically ask “why? what are you going to do to me? what’s going to happen?”. Because we don’t know what’s going to happen and what its all about, we become protective and automatically close off our heart, we close off the option of anything getting into our hearts, to avoid ourselves from something uncomfortable.

When Levina got on her knees next to me and laid both hands on me as well as started praying for me, I started tearing, while listening to the song “Your Great Love”. It was like God was showing me that I don’t have to be afraid to open up my heart fully, to let myself into the risk because He loves us and will never abandon us. Although I know His love for me is great, I am still selfish and wanting to hold on tight to a part of my heart, to want to be in control, afraid of having my heart broken. I still struggle and will continue to struggle for a long time.

Oh, open up the heaven’s Lord
Oh, let your love restore this world

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s