Burden of the Soul

How do I explain how I feel? It’s one of those days where you just feel out of it. Weird? Sick? Tired? Maybe, I’m not really sure what words would describe it. It’s been a long week.. long days, they just seem to drag on longer and longer each minute. And when I feel this crankiness, I get easily annoyed.. and then little things just get to me.

I’m sorry to those that I’ve been cranky to, to those I’ve given attitude to. But thank you for all those who have messaged me, checking up on me and kept talking to me. Nate, who I met last summer at the DCLA conference, was one of the friends who checked up on me. This is one of his poems that I enjoy very much.

Burden of the Soul – Nate Kwong
when times get rough, and stuff starts to fall apart,
you try to get close, and they break your heart,
when your world starts falling, out of control,
and you just can’t handle the burden on the soul,
take a time out, step away from the crowd,
find a place of solitude and scream real loud,
confide in a friend, one you can trust till you die,
one you love like a brother, with whom you laugh and cry,
one who has a place, against their shoulder to lean,
who knows your secrets, your fears and your dreams,
but if they’re not around, to help you pull through,
just shout out my name, I’ll always be there for you.
but every now and then, if the burden is too much for two
then you take it to the heavens, cause’ God’ll carry you.

There’s something about this poem that gives me peace. It’s very well written and perhaps it’s the last line that jumps out at me. “You take it to the heavens, cause God’ll carry you.” God tries to tell us that all the time, He has arms wide open every minute of the day just waiting for us to run to him whenever we have troubles or even when we feel happy! But why do we feel this way still? Sometimes we forget… and that’s when Satan takes advantage of us.

So many times I ask myself, What am I doing? Seriously… Why? What? And I dwell on those questions as well as dwelling on this “feeling” I’m having. I know many of you out there know how I feel.

Perhaps this is a good way to explain it (also from Nate, Thanks!) – you get sick of everything, you get tired of trying, you get tired of the same tedious routine that happens all the time, you basically feel like you’d rather be somewhere else, doing something that mattered.

Sigh… we’ll get there.

– Joanne L.