Clumped. Scrambled. Pushed together. My feelings. Today didn’t help me go back on my decision, it only pushed it further. I don’t know how what to do anymore, I don’t know what to feel anymore. I cannot let my team down, I know I will give my very best whenever I am on the floor, but I cannot promise that my heart will be there as well. I don’t know what lesson God is trying to teach me but I trust in him that there is a lesson in every experience. There is a reason He lets things happen. I will keep praying until it comes to me.
Grace. Forgivness. I pray that He allows me to give this to him. To feel this way. It will be hard, it is driving me crazy. It even brings me into tears, but one of the hardest thing is knowing that God is with me all the time, but not feeling him. I know that He is watching me and giving me the strength, watching over me. But I don’t see it. I don’t feel it. I only feel .. well scrambled feelings.
What lesson is God teaching me? What lesson are you learning?