Clumped. Scrambled. Pushed together. My feelings. Today didn’t help me go back on my decision, it only pushed it further. I don’t know how what to do anymore, I don’t know what to feel anymore. I cannot let my team down, I know I will give my very best whenever I am on the floor, but I cannot promise that my heart will be there as well. I don’t know what lesson God is trying to teach me but I trust in him that there is a lesson in every experience. There is a reason He lets things happen. I will keep praying until it comes to me.
Grace. Forgivness. I pray that He allows me to give this to him. To feel this way. It will be hard, it is driving me crazy. It even brings me into tears, but one of the hardest thing is knowing that God is with me all the time, but not feeling him. I know that He is watching me and giving me the strength, watching over me. But I don’t see it. I don’t feel it. I only feel .. well scrambled feelings.
What lesson is God teaching me? What lesson are you learning?
Cheers, Jo!
Joanne Lam 
hey buddy, i have some words of wisdom/encouragement for you. don’t stress out too much and relax. you are doing your best to seek God and give your all to your team at the same time and that’s all anyone (including yourself) can expect from you.
i’m learning a lot of lessons right now, but for now i pick the question: do you worship God only when times are good/things are going your way, or when things are hard/the light at the end of the tunnel is faint/life is busy and there are few reminders of God’s prescence.
and a question i’ve been thinking about that i will ask to you guys, how does a teacher show jesus’ love to students? because with my students, it’s definitely not going to be the awesome presentation of the gospel that i give one day at lunch since they would understand maybe two words, so toss that idea out the window (anyhow, that’s really not my style). so what shows love and says I care about you as a person?