Knowing yourself

“My name is Kieran. I am 16. I do brazilian ju-jit-su, so Don’t mess with me.” So that’s the start of my entry today. Today was a pretty good day, even though our coach worked us really hard today. I can barely walk around my house without having to limp a couple of steps. We all worked hard today and it’s good to have the wednesday off. And have a rest until the early morning practice on thursday.

Peer counseling is getting quite interesting. Today we had to make an equation with four words. I came up with Self Concept = (self esteem + self image = self confidence). Self Concept is actually quite similar to self image. Those words are all about learning about yourself, finding your patterns whether they are good or not, and breaking them. Throughout the course of the class today, I thought of some patterns that I have allowed to hurt me and bug me. But I have forgotten that I HAVE a choice.

There have been things for the past few weeks that have been on my mind and bothering me all the time. Have you ever wanted to wait for someone to talk to you or to call you? Well I’ve been in that mood for the past few days, especially to a couple of people. And if i don’t get any response or care from them, I immediatly jump to conclusion and think that they don’t care and I’m not important because they have someone closer to them that they are with all the time – aka. boyfriend. This is not a solution, having myself be bothered by this and getting annoyed because she is not talking to me will not help myself. Maybe those people don’t notice that you’re trying to do that?

Breaking the pattern will involve friends reminding me that if I am there for them, they will notice what they are missing when they weren’t paying attention to me. It will involve putting aside those feelings of wanting them to talk to you first and make the first move. No matter how much they neglect you, they will realize that you are there for them no matter what – but the other person might leave.

My mind is not functioning very well right now so I should get some rest. But I hope that made sense, it should be interesting reading what I have wrote the next time I feel that way and/or the next time I fall into the same pattern again.

HKIS students – one more day of school until a four day weekend! Hang in there.

Cheers Jo!