There are times at church where my mind is off somewhere else, or I try my best to listen but I just don’t enjoy it as much as I should. Today was an example of that. Maybe because today’s sermon didn’t apply to me as much. It was about money, a while back. Tobin preached a sermon on money as well and that created confusion and dislike of the church from some people. But nevermind that, it was nice to be at church, seeing everyone praising and singing to God in unison.
There was one song which made my heart ache. That song is called “Lord I give you my heart”. Just from the song name, it makes me cringe. That is what I’m suppose to do but am I doing it around the clock? Thinking back a while ago when Tim LaTour’s family came over my house for dinner. I had a conversation with Tim and he challenged me with the question, How do you make sure you are close to God twenty-four seven?
Think about that for a moment. It’s tough. Till now, I can’t find a set answer to that question. There are always more you can do. When that song played, I started singing like I usually do every other song.
Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul
I live for you alone
Every breath I take,
Every moment I’m awake,
Lord have your way in me.
Everytime I get to that verse, everytime I sing the first line. My heart aches and I cringe. At times, my mouth just stop moving and I can’t sing it no matter how hard I try. The more I think about it, the reason is because it’s not what I have been doing, so how can I sing it like I do? At the times when I think of Him, everything is with him and everything I do is for him. But 70% of my life, is spent giving my heart out to something else, something materialistic, computer, school, boys, and things not worthy of my heart.
Giving Him my whole heart is the first thing I have to do if I want to live a God-centered life. It is something we all struggle with and need improvments on. I pray the next time I sing that song, I will be able to sing it loud and clear. To let God know that I’m doing what I’m saying and I love him with all my heart.
One thought on “My heart aches…”
I’m touched by your commitment to God, and as I read your blog, it reminds me to do the same. Very often our lives are blessed by God and the things he gives us we take for granted and we spend so much time involved in these things, we forget that it was originally God who gave it to us. May we all try our best to always focus on God.
As You Were